Separation Anxiety?
BY M.K. RACINE, CHANDLER, USA (soon to be EUROPE)
I am leaving the country tomorrow, though not for Zambia.
I will spend the next several weeks traveling Europe. I eagerly anticipate all the new experiences I will have, yet already long for the two things I will miss most while gone. My puppy, Kota, will stay with family for the duration of my travels. I really don't know how I can turn in for the evening without a big wet kiss from my little guy (103 pounds little), or how I will swim laps without my little "puppa" Kota. The other difficult separation will be my "hiatus" from the Zambian film project. I have briefly left Mesa Community College, Cyndi, Jabbes and the rest of the crew. Although I am thrilled to spend this time abroad, I leave behind, with some sadness, my "film family" and an active role in the project.
My current travels have been planned for over a year. Well before I met Cyndi, long before I met Jabbes. I was disappointed to learn my trip would coincide with the one to Zambia. At first, I committed myself to working solely from Mesa, the hub if you will, of information exchange about the project, upon my return. I had planned to update the electronic press kits and other resources, as progress was made in and communicated from Zambia.
After a brief conversation with Cyndi a few weeks ago, I opened myself to the idea that I would travel to Zambia upon the completion of my personal trip, in time for fliming in the bush, and the training of local Zambians in the area of film. Every oppportunity available to me, to contribute to the project and the people of Zambia, is an opportunity for which I am truly thankful and eager to make possible. Whether I stay or go, my plans are to be involved in the Zambian flim project through its completion and I anticipate, well after its end, the lingering feeling of accomplishment and gratitude as a result.
I spoke to Jabbes the day before I left. We conversed on the phone for about an hour. I did not want to get off the phone. I knew it would be the last conversation for several weeks, and thus the beginning of my "absence" from the project, in a functional capacity. I have watched the blogs and biographies, each day, since my first away. I want to stay in the loop, to remain visible, supportive, and encouraging. I have already received and replied to an e-mail from Cyndi, read about the "good fortune" of Lindsey and the puzzle pieces Jeniece identified. The puzzle pieces we are collaboratively working to put in place. I miss the involvement, the planning and the excitement. I miss the faces, the friendships, and the focus we have as one, a single group, with a common goal - well, many common goals.
I know my role is small, but it's so meaningful to me, on a multitude of levels. To step away, for even the briefest period of time, leaves me feeling a little empty. This shift in my role, coupled with the distance between me and my film family, has further developed my appreciation for this project and the work and dedication involved. I am leaving a little less whole, but all the more committed, all the more determined to see this project succeed, to witness growth for Jabbes, the students and faculty of MCC, and the country of Zambia. I leave, only to come back a couple weeks deep into filming, a couple weeks further from the beginning, and a couple weeks closer to our dream.