Letting Go...
BY M.K. "GYPSY PUNK" RACINE LUSAKA, ZAMBIA, AFRICA - When you come to a place like this, with the purpose we had, you know you'll have the opportunity for growth, professionally. Very likely you'll experience something similar on a personal level as well.
What I didn't expect, what I didn't know in the very beginning, is that I had arrived here incomplete as a person. I only know that now because I feel I'm leaving with my life so much more enriched, in ways I had never imagined or expected - certainly in ways I didn't plan.
We had so many struggles in making these films, both indiviually and collectively. There was a feeling that we were isolated in a number of ways. Not merely isolated from home and loved ones, but from the outside world in general, isolated by the culture here, and for our mentality and our values. As a group, a crew, our family was on its own here. But this is when you realize the power and force of family. We never faltered as a crew; that wasn't an option.
To be honest - I don't want to leave. I don't want this feeling to end, because right now, today, our last day in Zambia - I know we've accomplished something. We achieved the goal we had when we arrived; the goal that led us here. And looking back to how we accomplished our goal, piece by piece, person by person, I know these are the people and the experiences that have made my life much more complete. The've changed my outlook with regard to my own life, my goals, my personal growth.
I feel blessed for being witness to the growth of each person on our crew. And it hurst a little to know we won't be there for one another in the same way we were here. But they should each know that I'll always love them, I'll always support them, and of course, I'll never forget them.
I came together with these people to make a film, but the underlying factor is that we were brought together to enliven and make more complete one another's lives. We each did that for one another in our own way, and what I've taken from them, what they've chosen to give me, is something I would never have found on my own.
We each have our lives back home; we long for our loved ones and the comforts and conveniences that make it home. Yet here, we made a life for ourselves. Some days we had to scratch our way to the top, in order to accomplish the smallest task. At times, for all we got done, we still didn't accomplish a thing. But we kept pushing and we made our life here successful. Now, to be pulled away from this life, a life we all worked together to create, a life that relies so heavily on one another - it's a little sad. I have nothing but positive feelings regarding our film family, and I can't wait to see my family back home, but I can't help thinking...
We're all living two lives...how do you let one go?
