LIfe After Zambia
BY MIKEY "KARATE MASTER" MONTESA, MESA, AZ - My life after Zambia has changed. I don't know why but it's hard to adjust to my normal life again. All I want is to be with my FilmZambia family, to work and talk with them like we did when we were back in the Kraal. When I was in Zambia, I felt free, like a Taita Falcon flying in the endless sky. 
I had no restrictions on myself and I didn't limit myself. I spoke my mind freely and was not afraid of what other people would think of me. I think that is why I miss that life so much. When I was in Zambia, it seemed like I had more freedom to be me than I do here in the US. Working with the crew over there was so much fun and and continues to be rewarding here. We take the time to talk about what's going on at work and in our personal lives. We are understanding of each other and we listen to each other. We are friends.
As an artist, I want to express my feelings through the art of photography. My work shows vibrant and happy places but my work doesn't always honestly reveal what I really feel about my subject. After Zambia, I realized that the words I speak can be just as powerful as the images I shoot. It's amazing how the crew has taught me to be a better photographer. They respond to me and my work and give me advice and valadation. Sometimes they critique me and other times they compliment me. I feel their genuine concern for me. It is liberating.
Their advise extended beyond what I offered on the project. Cyndi, MK, Shawn and the others were always there to listen to me. In the past, I usually kept my problems inside me. I felt that it was weak and bad to reveal your problems. Now I know that it feels good to be heard. It feels good to let it all out and let people listen to you. In the disclosure I often found answers to problems. I found out that real friends may not agree with you, but they still care about you.
I really do think that the Zambian trip changed me. I have a different outlook on life and my perspective has changed a great deal. The other day, Cyndi asked us in reflection if we realized before we left that the trip was going to be a "life altering" experience. I had never thought about it but now I realize it was. It changed me for good.
In addition to finding my own value on this trip, I also got a new appreciation of the importance of friendship. Real friends are those you know you will always have in your life. Distance and location may seperate you, but if you have opportunities to meet or talk you take up where you left off. This experience created a bond based on the project, the work, the struggles we overcame together and the personalities of the crew. My "doommates" will always be with me. To me DOOM means so much more than an insect repellant or a silly group name. It means friendship with openess, honesty and acceptance. I'm so grateful to have these friendships because they showed me it is more then ok to have fun and enjoy life. It is what makes life worth living. It also gave me something to look forward to every day. Those guys make me smile and laugh all the time.
My life will never be the same again. I am thankful for this trip because I began to understand me better. I gained more self-esteem and I learned to stand-up for myself. I want my voice to be heard. I want my art to reflect me. I have decided that having fun and enjoying life is important. I have a greater appreciation for my friends and for being a friend.
This journey is not over! It is just beginning. It will continue to be interesting and life altering. I'm looking forward to the challenges that will come along.